Cheap relationships, you get what you pay for
"Honesty and integrity are an expensive gift, don't expect it from cheap people..."
It's so frustrating to spend money on something and have it fail so quickly. The saying "you get what you pay for" is true more often than not. What I have found is that taking time to become educated can often help you find the best value!
Many of you know how much time I take to research product before I would ever recommend to you. This philosophy is followed in my own life! Before I lay down hard earned money, a lot of research is done. My process is similar to dental supplies and equipment and procedures. How long has this item been on the market. How much experience do people have using it, and what it the street view? What do independent, non biased testers say. What is the value to me and what am I willing to invest?
My meandering brain starts to poof out simile and metaphors....
I met Karen online and never knew what she even looked like. I knew what I wanted in a partner, it took me over 4 decades to become a stubborn, faithful, loyal, pain in the a$$. It would take a special someone to hop in the boat and sail life together!
What I found out quickly was that the right people come into your life at the right times. It's a matter of a lot of heart and a little bit of brain. The heart always wants to jump in and just trust people. Mine does at least. Not most people. The reason is because we have learned so often that other people don't necessarily share our philosophies. With an open mind, we can learn and adapt and resepect each other and even compliment each other. The brain can help you distinguish the right time to invest more in the relationship, but is often conflicted with the heart...or the "gut" feeling.
You see this shiny new object. It's so tempting, and without much thought you decide you need it. It temporarily fills a void, and before long the shiny new object is no longer that interesting. It loses value quickly and gets set in a corner. You had good intentions when you bought it - but now you regret the purchase. It wasn't an investment at all, it was impulsive and had no real value.
Next time you will be more careful!
Sometimes you put the time and effort into "something" only to find out that you aren't happy and it's difficult to "get your money back". Often it costs you more and more as time goes on - draining your resources physical and metaphorically.
The older you get, the more cautious you get about shiny new objects. You have learned they mean less and they burn out fast. If you could only go back in time and get your money back for all that was wasted!
It's relatively painless to compare an apple to an apple. It's not always that bad to save a few bucks buying the cheaper apple - you have learned it usually tastes the same. Objects are pretty straightforward, and a bad buy is easy to recover from.
How about relationships?
If you have read my blogs and heard my podcasts – you know how much I love a simile! Let’s run with these metaphors, and read into it whatever you will…..
In a meaningful relationship the most important aspect is trust. You need to trust in order to free your heart. To allow yourself the ability to share your dreams and aspirations with a special someone – and you will find out if that person you trust will do the same for you.
These relationships can often be one sided. Have you ever been that person that betrayed another persons trust? Maybe that other person was a fool to believe they were in that type of relationship with you? We have all been burned a few times, and it often leads us to become even less trusting and forgiving.
We have all experienced....you get what you give. If you want to trust people, you need to be a trust-worthy person yourself. You can’t be naïve….it’s important to be cautious. To think with your head before your heart….but ultimately, when you allow your heart to be free – the most amazing relationships can happen!
If you are a dentist providing a service – you don’t want to be cheap. The type of relationship that will garner a lifetime patient doesn’t just have to be “business”! If you are sincere, and you treat others as you would like to be treated, it would be professional….and caring. You may actually care that the person sitting in your chair is wanting to find a person they trust and allow to give them treatment. They will trust that you are very well educated and skilled and have the best intentions to provide the highest level of care. They trust you use the best materials available and will charge them a fair price. Give them your best educated advice.
If you are a dental auxiliary, you might start learning and improving your skills at a base salary. If your only goal is to get another $1 an hour more based on simply how long you have been working…..you will hate being an auxiliary. Nobody likes to be cheap. If you make yourself a valuable commodity by continuing to improve. Help your relationship with the team flourish by learning to do the things that nobody else can do! Be there before anyone else comes, and after they leave. Not because you have to – but because you love what you do. Learn to love what you do by continuing to improve your skills and continuing to educate your self. Become confident and aware of your abilities and expand them. When you put that extra effort into a relationship and continue to look for new ways to keep it interesting and exciting…it gets hard for the other person to replace you. If the relationship is good – you will get back some of what you give.
One thing we all have learned is to NEVER take a relationship for granted! If you are a dentist and do not continually improve, you may find that the other person in the relationship starts looking for something new. They notice that even though you have taken good care of them, you may assume they will always be coming to see you. You don’t continue to improve your skills, put a little more effort into the relationship of dentistry. Over the years you have become quite successful and garnered a nice following, and now you forget that persons name and maybe even assigned a new associate to see them.
As a dental assistant you start to feel bitter that annual raise didn’t come. When you started you used to come 15 minutes early and work through lunch. Excited to meet and greet the next patient and you would be sweaty by the end of the day trying to keep up! Those first cone cut xrays are now perfect and fast. It’s just that you started to lose interest. You didn’t feel appreciated (and maybe you picked badly when you jumped into that relationship). At the same time, maybe you didn’t continue to keep yourself interested! The way you feel is often about yourself. In order to keep your career interesting and engaging, you should consider continuing to expand and educate yourself. Try to attend the courses that your boss attends. Learn the business of dentistry. Have you learned and mastered every skill available for a dental assistant? Can you improve the process at your office?
In relationships – I feel we all OWE each other this. To do our best. To continually improve.
It keeps our own lives exciting. It adds value to our product. It makes us invaluable to the people we are in relationships with, and it’s what god or the universe intends for all of us! To make the most of every day by becoming the best person we are capable of becoming.
As a “sales guy” I find being “cheap” one of the easiest things to do. Yet it’s also the hardest part of being a human being to accept. Cheap isn’t how you want to be recognized, cheap isn’t how you want your team to feel.
Cheap is a shallow relationship. Cheap is something that will break. Cheap is “you get what you pay for” and you will eventually regret.